One Day More
by onceuponafanfiction1
Summary: Emma and Killian have been married for a few years now. He just got a promotion, she just reconnected with her parents, and they have finally started discussion on expanding their family. What happens when tragedy hits? Is it easy to repeat the past or is it not possible at all? CS AU. Tear jerker, read at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1

One Day More

"What happened?" Doctor Whale said as he looked through the EMT's clipboard.

The EMT replied, "Husband was driving home from work, when he got there, she was just lying on the ground. He tried to wake her up, but she didn't move, so he called us. He said they talked on the phone ten minutes before he got home."

"And how long has it been since you picked her up?"

"About ten minutes," the EMT said, "She's still unconscious."

Doctor Whale nodded and pointed to the elevator, "Get her stabilized, or at least try to. I'll be right there. Where's the husband?"

Killian raised his hand; his eyes were puffy and red, his hair a mess, and his face full of fear. He rubbed his mouth as a shot of despair filled him, causing him to fall to the floor. He sat on the ground and began breaking apart, "I tried holding the tears in, but I can't help but think she isn't coming back."

"What's her name and age?" Doctor Whale asked as he helped Killian up.

"Emma Jones, she's only 34."

The doctor patted his back and invited him to sit, before he ran down the hallway and into the room where the EMTs wheeled Emma to earlier. Killian pulled his knees up and hugged them in his chair, his head sinking between them and his heart sinking in his chest.

He sat still for fifteen minutes, thinking of the worst possibilities. She was so young, they were just married. She didn't deserve to die. Emma had a beautiful soul - she cared about everyone in her life and cared about them more than she did for herself. She didn't do anything to deserve to die, especially at such a young age.

Then again, bad things always happen to good people.

Killian stood up and started to pace the lobby, holding back the several tears that were aching to rip away from his eyes. He rubbed his palms to calm his nerves, but nothing seemed to work.

A nurse came out of Emma's room, "Mr. Jones?"

"That's me, yes."

"You can go in now."

At her words, Killian ran past her and into Emma's room. She was hooked up to many machines, half of which he didn't know what they were. Grief overtook him as he ran to her, grabbing her hand and slightly shaking it, hoping that she'd wake up.

Doctor Whale came into the room behind him, "She's not doing too good."

"What do you mean? Is she dead?"

The doctor came and sat down beside Killian, writing something down on his clipboard, "Well, no, but she is in a very delicate state now."

"She's going to die isn't she? This is all my fault," he said, "If I hadn't taken the damn promotion and stayed the extra hours after work, I would've been home and been able to help her. Who knows? Maybe she was calling for me before it happened and I wasn't there to catch her."

"Mr. Jones, I have to ask you some questions," Doctor Whale said, "But it's best if you answer them calmly. Don't blame yourself."

Killian sat down in his seat and didn't let go of Emma's hand, "Sure."

"Does Emma get headaches or migraines frequently?"

"How frequently do you mean?"

"A few times a week." He said.

Killian nodded and bit his lip, "Yes, is that bad?"

Doctor Whale didn't answer; he just scribbled on his clipboard some more. Then, he looked up again and said, "Are you two currently sexually active?"

Killian almost choked on air, "Well, yes, but she's on birth control, so-"

"Just what I suspected." Doctor Whale scribbled some more and stood up.

Killian stood with him and followed him to the door of the room, pulling on his shoulder, "What's that supposed mean?"

"It was a stroke, Killian." Doctor Whale said, "People who have migraines frequently - ones with aura, which I'm assuming she's had - and who are on birth control are more prone to having a stroke. This gives her a higher risk for getting a blood-clot, which causes a stroke."

"Is she going to be alright?" Killian asked.

Doctor Whale stepped out of the hospital room, "Only time will tell."

As he left, Killian felt a part of him break off and flutter into nonexistence. A stroke. He hadn't known about them, except for his little knowledge because of his mother having one. All he knew was that you didn't have to die from a stroke, but it was possible. Something so simple took her just like that. It was in a matter of seconds. Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it had been building up for so long and it was waiting for the perfect moment to hit - the moment where the couple was their happiest. Killian had just gotten a promotion, they were discussing coming off the pill so they could expand their family, and Emma has just reconnected with her parents. The stroke had stayed quietly under the radar all that time and hit right when it hurt the most.

Killian sat down in the chair next to Emma's bed and grabbed her hand, sinking down and not letting go, but then fell into a deep sleep.

 _"Killian." Her voice rang through the air._

 _He spun around, looking for her everywhere, but she wasn't in his view. He cried for her, "Emma, my love! Please wake up, please come back to me."_

 _She appeared in front of him; she was dressed in a white gown that had light pink flowers scattered on it. Her hair, all curled into a beautiful masterpiece, her eyes, a light green like the spring leaves, and her smile, genuine, happy, and sad all at the same time. She reached for his cheek and whispered, "I wish I could."_

 _Killian reached for her, but his hands went right through her image, "You really are gone, aren't you?"_

 _"It's my time, Killian." She sighed and rubbed his cheek with her thumb, "I'm sorry I could make a future with you."_

" _Don't be sorry, wake up." Killian begged._

 _All she did was shake her head, but he continued to beg, "Please wake up! I can't live without you."_

 _"Wake up, Killian." She said._

 _He shook his head, "No, don't make me. I won't unless you do, too."_

 _She smiled sadly and took her hand off his cheek, letting it skim down his arm in the process. Then, she blinked a couple of times and blew him a kiss, "You have to continue your life, Killian."_

 _"I can't, Emma."_

 _"Wake up, Killian." She said._

 _He shook his head once more, "I won't say goodbye."_

 _"You know how terrible I am at goodbyes, so let's just say this is a new beginning," she smiled and stepped back, "A new beginning for you."_

 _Before he could respond, she was disappearing from his sight. She disappeared in ripples like rocks skimming in the water. He reached for her, his heart and hands yearning to hold her once more, but she was gone._

 _She was gone for good._

"Mr. Jones? Wake up."

 _He'd never see her again, would he?_

"Sir?"

 _The love of his life was gone._

 _For good._

He was shaken awake by Doctor Whale, who was sweating a bit and seemed a little overwhelmed. Killian cocked his head to the side and opened his eyes to see a few nurses surrounding Emma. He stood and was immediately held back by Doctor Whale, "She's gone, Killian."

"No, Emma!" He struggled to push past the doctor and through the group of nurses. Emma was unplugged from all of the machines, and she was just lying there, a lifeless body. A lifeless body that meant more than the world to him, that created so many memories with him, that was supposed to be his future.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Jones." One of the nurses said.

"There's nothing more you could've done?" Killian said as he turned back to Doctor Whale and grabbed his lab coat. Killian eyes filled with water as he clenched the doctor's collar tighter.

"We've done all we can."

He pushed the doctor away from him and ran back towards Emma, who was lying still on the hospital bed. As much as it pained him to do so, he grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles - the last time he would ever get the chance to.

"There has to be something else you can do." Killian begged.

The doctor placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezed it gently, and then whispered, "I'm sorry Mr. Jones."

A single tear fell down his cheek and onto her face, and then suddenly, time froze.

* * *

"Killian? How about you skip work today?" Emma yelled up the stairs.

He laughed as he tightened his tie and came down the stairs, "You know I can't do that, love."

"Please?" She said, combing her fingers through his unbrushed hair, "Just today?"

"Emma, this is my job we're talking about." He said, brushing a piece of lonely hair behind her ear.

She made a pouty face and then patted his chest, "If they really want you to take that higher position, then they'll be fine with you taking one day off."

"I guess so," he said before slipping the tie off his neck, "But not one day more."

She pulled him into a savory kiss, something she knew she'd never experience again.

Something she knew she'd never share with him ever again.

Something she knew she'd miss after she passed away again later that night of a stroke, at the age of 34, while he's on his way home from work, ten minutes after their phone conversation, because of her migraines and her use of birth control.

Something she wouldn't do in the dream he has of her, because she knew if she did, he'd never let go.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello all! This is based on this prompt I found online somewhere:**

 **"I died and came back and now I get to relive my last day with you knowing I'm going to die and you know nothing and I can't prevent this and you're just so happy I'm here and you have no idea what just happened and your heart is going to be crushed all over again" au**

 **I hope you all follow me on this story ;) It's going to be a rough walk from here.**

 **XOXO**


	2. Chapter 2

**Two: Just Another Day**

* * *

"Killian? How about you skip work today?" Emma yelled up the stairs.

He laughed as he tightened his tie and came down the stairs, "You know I can't do that, love."

"Please?" She said, combing her fingers through his unbrushed hair, "Just today?"

"Emma, this is my job we're talking about." He said, brushing a piece of lonely hair behind her ear.

She made a pouty face and then patted his chest, "If they really want you to take that higher position, then they'll be fine with you taking _one_ day off."

"I guess so," he said before slipping the tie off his neck, "But not one day more."

She pulled him into a savory kiss, something she knew she'd never experience again.

Something she knew she'd never share with him ever again.

Something she knew she'd miss after she passed away again later that night of a stroke, at the age of 34, while he's on his way home from work, ten minutes after their phone conversation, because of her migraines and her use of birth control.

Something she wouldn't do in the dream he has of her, because she knew if she did, he'd never let go.

"What's something you've always wanted to do?" Emma asked him.

Caught off guard, he raised and eyebrow and said, "Buy a boat."

She laughed, "No, like something amazing, something you could only do once."

"I wanna visit Niagara Falls; I hear it's a beautiful water attraction. My parents never took me." he said.

"The Niagara Falls it is. Let's get in the car." she said, pulling him out of the house and grabbing the car keys all in one motion. He wrapped his arms around her waist and swung her around in the air as they reached the front porch, and placed her back on the ground before stealing a small kiss. Then, he stole the car keys and hopped inside her yellow bug, before she followed and they started their trip to the waterways of the Niagara River.

It was a while from their home, six hours to be exact. But this day had to be worth it. It had to be everything Killian had ever wanted, because little did he know, she was going to pass at 11:09PM tonight. Granted, it was only eight in the morning, so by the time they got there, it would be two o'clock, and they would still have nine more hours to make her last day worth it.

She grabbed his hand as they crossed the America line into Canada. They parked in the extremely crowded lot, before heading into the amazing attraction. There were several ways to view the falls, but the best way to observe the splendor and majesty of Niagara Falls was through a tour. Their tour guide directed them through many of the unseen attractions, including the man-made tunnels behind the falls. There, several look-out points allowed them to observe the incredible speed at which the water rushed over the rock. The water flowed at an amazing 212,000 cubic feet of water per second. They were also guided to the basin where the falls originated miles away. In fact, over the last 12, 000 years, the falls have eroded back seven miles. The incredible history of the falls came to life when they viewed them with their own eyes. No schoolbook could possibly give an understanding of the vastness of the falls. Nor could a book bring to life the remarkable history behind this amazing wonder of nature.

A simple snapshot could never capture the wonderful rushing sound of the water pouring over and splashing into the basin below. A picture could not possibly create the wonderful motion of the water as it continuously flowed over the rocks. To fully take in the sights and sounds of the majestic falls, one would have to visit them personally. Although many photographers have tried to capture the startling essence of Niagara Falls, no picture could possibly do them justice. A simple description or picture of Niagara Falls may spark interest in this natural wonder of the world. However, childhood imaginations and simple musings could never render true the spectacular display that Niagara Falls offers. The natural beauty and magnificence of the falls could only be comprehended through one's own eyes. Emma and Killian were pleased to then be able to say that they are among the many who have traveled to see this amazing spectacle which nature has given to them, and have been forever changed by it's greatness.

"It's beautiful, Emma." Killian said as he stared into the rushing waters, "Absolutely amazing."

"Do you really like it that much?" she wondered.

He took her hand into his and pulled her towards him, "I never imagined it would be this enchanting."

She smiled and stared at his face - the way it seemed so hopeful, and yet she felt completely hopeless. She looked at his smile - which was all and only completely genuine, and yet, it would fade and forever remain a frown past 11:09pm that night. She glanced at his eyes - the way they sparkled with eternal happiness and seemed like they'd never shed any tears whatsoever, and yet all her eyes wanted to do was shed as many tears as they could. And finally, she looked at his hand - which was intertwined with hers and tightly holding onto like it was a beautiful love that was about to be torn away, and yet all she could think about was the thought of him pulling on her hands and begging her to come back to life.

He turned to her and stared into her eyes, "Why did you all of a sudden want to go crazy?"

"Crazy?" she turned away and faced the falls, "What do you mean?"

"You're never like this," he said, "You're usually more organized and plan things like five months in advance."

She shrugged and tried to avoid the subject, "I just felt like being spontaneous."

He nodded but stayed silent. There were a few moments of silence, where only the sounds of the rushing waterfalls were filling the air. Killian turned and leaned on the ledge, staring at the water.

Emma sighed, "Killian, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I know that," he laughed and turned back to her, placing his hands on her waist, "Why would you ask that kind of question?"

She shrugged and stuck a smile on her face, "I just wanted to make sure you knew."

He pulled her closer to his body, "And I you."

"I know." she blushed as the water began to squirt out of a nearby fountain, getting them both wet.

Killian grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the squirting water, towards the gift shop. They stood under the gift shop's awning as he pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She smiled and nodded to him her thanks, "So, where to next?"

"We're still going with this spontaneous thing?"

She laughed, "Yes, I want this day to be the best of our lives."

"Okay, love. What's something you want to do?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I want to-"

* * *

 **A/N: So in case you're a little confused, what happened back in chapter one was that Emma died, and his tear somehow brought her back to relive her last day with him. But the loophole in this entire thing is that Killian doesn't know Emma is going to die, but she does. So she is suffering with the knowledge that she's going to pass away and have to see him in pain all over again, while he is completely oblivious.**

 **I'm thinking somewhere between 7-10 chapters, one being an epilogue so you get closure.**

 **If there are any amazing things that I could write Emma and Killian doing on her last day, message me or leave a review.**

 **Kisses and hope to see you all for the next update.**


	3. Chapter 3

Three: A Permanent Thing

"That's what you've always wanted to do?"

She nodded with a childish smile, "Yes, of course. I have always wanted one, but my parents wouldn't let me."

"Emma, you're 34."

"I didn't have the time to stop and sit down for a long time while a stranger permanently prints on my skin." she laughed.

He rolled his eyes and nudged her as he plugged the address for Lucky 13 Tattoo Shop just down the way. They drove for a few minutes and parked in the parking lot, which seemed surprisingly filled. Emma got out of the car and strolled into the parlor confidently, before being emerged into the smell of smoke and ink. Killian followed after her and coughed at the aroma of the parlor, causing Emma to snicker under her breath. He nudged her side before they were confronted by a tall, slender woman with long, brown hair and flashy clothing.

"Name's Ruby, and yours is?" she raised an eyebrow, "Organized and Confident?"

"I'd like a tattoo." Emma said.

Ruby nodded, "Of what, a pony?"

"Actually," Emma said, "A flower."

Ruby rolled her eyes and handed Emma a thick book of women's tattoo designs, before pointing to the couch beside a crowd of smokers. Emma nodded and widened her eyes, before sitting down on the leather couch and searching the book.

Killian stood awkwardly as Ruby poked his arm, "And you, sir?"

"I'm thinking something sea related." he said.

Ruby gave him a weird face causing him to change his answer, "Or maybe not. We'll see."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"Wife." Killian said.

Ruby nodded again, "Right. Was this her idea or yours?"

"Hers, I'm really just here for the ride." Killian laughed, but Ruby didn't.

She handed him a different book, thicker than the one she handed Emma, and then pointed over to the leather couch, where Emma sat alone. He nodded and met her, sitting on the arm of the couch and starting to search for his tattoo. As soon as he opened his book, Emma stood and shut hers, before walking over to Ruby and pointing to one in the book. Ruby nodded and brought Emma through a red curtain as Emma eyed Killian down with a smile.

Behind the curtain, was a chair, which looked extremely uncomfortable, and all the tools Ruby needed to give her a tattoo.

"Where do you want it?"

Emma pointed to her wrist.

"How big?"

Ruby watched her as she made a space with her fingers that was about an inch all around.

"You can speak, you know," Ruby laughed for once, "I don't bite."

Emma sat down in the chair, before rolling up her sleeve and tucking her hair behind her ears. She held out her arm for Ruby to sterilize the area with alcohol. Emma winced at the coldness of the liquid, but Ruby laughed, "This should be a whirl of fun for you."

Ruby began her process of the flower tattoo Emma was planning on getting, prepping the area for the machine and ink. Emma, who seemed extremely nervous and anxious, bounced her foot to the beat of the music playing behind them and bit her lip. All she could think about was the pain that she was going to endure as soon as the needle hit her skin.

She eyed Ruby down as she set the machine down onto her tender skin, making Emma bounce lightly in her chair and shut her eyes.

"What's the worst pain you've ever been through?" Ruby asked.

Emma's eyes shot open.

Well, you could begin with her parents abandoning her in the first place.

"Do you mean physical or emotional pain?" Emma asked.

Ruby continued to let the machine stab Emma's skin, "Either."

Then, there's her car accident when she was a teenager.

Or the time she was bullied in middle school.

Or that one time she died from a stroke and came back to life for one day only to die again that night and watch her husband hurt once again.

Oh yeah, _that_ was the worst pain she had ever felt.

"Well? You gonna answer me?" Ruby said impatiently.

Emma looked to the ground and shook her head, "Have you ever been in love?"

Ruby paused her process and looked up at Emma, "No."

"Really?" Emma met her gaze, "I feel like you have."

Ruby shrugged and then continued to work the machine along Emma's wrist, "Why do you ask?"

Emma stayed silent and tightened her fist, before stopping her foot from bouncing to the beat and lightly kicking Ruby in the ankle, "You have been in love."

"I have not."

"You know, I have this super power," Emma smirked, "And I can tell when someone's lying, and you my friend, are."

Ruby began the next step, the coloring of the tattoo, before she sighed, "I have been in love once. We had big plans and then she passed away; she and I were going to adopt a kid and move away, out of this country."

Emma listened carefully.

"She was amazing. We met in highschool and instantly fell in love; at graduation we had our first kiss. From there, we agreed to wed and then adopt a child, but a month before the wedding, she was diagnosed with cancer," Ruby sniffled and stabbed Emma's skin to try to distract herself, "Well, let's just say that it spread faster than we thought and there was no wedding."

Emma took her free hand and reached for Ruby's shoulder, before rubbing it lightly and saying, "I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that; I'm not sure if I could survive if Killian had passed away."

"Well, can I tell you something?" Ruby said, finishing up the last touches of the tattoo.

Emma nodded and watched Ruby cover the tattoo with some plastic material.

"Make every moment last," Ruby said, standing up and beginning to clean the machine up, "You don't know what you have until it's gone."

"What if I can't make every moment last? What if I can't make it all worth it?" Emma said, standing from the uncomfortable chair and walking towards the door.

Ruby stopped and turned to her, "If he really loves you, then every moment you're there is worth it."

"Thanks, Ruby, for the advice and the tattoo," Emma gulped, "How much do I owe you?"

Ruby shook her head and finally smiled, "On the house. You better take that husband of yours home before he gets a permanent inking of a pirate ship or something silly like that."

Emma laughed and nodded, before exiting the curtained area and looking for Killian, who was still sitting on the arm of the leather couch in the middle of the crowd of smokers. His gaze met hers as a smile grew on his face, before he stood and walked over to her, "Lemme see it."

She held out her wrist and showed him the simple flower on her skin. He smiled, "I love it."

"Let's go get dinner someplace on the way home, I'm sure you're very hungry after waiting a half hour and being at Niagara for an hour." Emma said.

Killian laughed and grabbed the small of her back, quickly sending her a pouty face, "No tattoo for me?"

"No, unless you want to be stabbed over a thousand times all in an hour for a permanent image of a pirate ship on your bicep?"

"How did you-"

"I know you, Killian," she said, "More than you know yourself."

He smirked and held the front door for her, letting her walk ahead and then following her out, "Is that so?"

Emma raised an eyebrow.

Killian met her side and they walked to the car as he spoke, "If you know me so well, what am I going to be doing tomorrow before work?"

Emma froze.

Well, he wouldn't be going to work. He'd be too crushed to step foot out of the hospital that morning. He'd be too hurt to look at anyone that reminded him of Emma. He'd be too broken to move on without her.

So, no work for him. He'd still be sitting in the hospital room, hoping that somehow Emma would come back, that some miracle would bring her back to life.

Although, he knew deep inside that he was never going to be able to hold her in his arms again.

Or tell her he loved her.

Or kiss her goodnight.

Or hold her hand.

Or bring her to get a tattoo.

Or spontaneously go on a trip to Niagara Falls.

Or have cute dinner dates with her.

And he'd never, ever, get the chance to meet her gaze one more time and stare into those green orbs of pure happiness while thinking how lucky he is to have met her and to have fallen in love with her.

Because she was dead.

And because she was dead, so was his spirit.

* * *

 **A/N: Ouch, that ending even hurt me. I think I'm gonna end up having there be seven central chapters and then an epilogue for closure. I hope this angst is really building up and that you all stick with me.**

 **It's only going to get rougher from here.**


	4. Chapter 4

Four: Food Can't Appease My Pain

Emma stared out of the car window as they passed mile marker 42. They had been driving for three hours already - in silence.

"Are you okay, love?" Killian said as he slowed the car down a little bit and reached for her shoulder.

She turned her head to him and sent a soft smile, "Of course, just hungry."

Killian nodded and pulled into a service center that provided gas and food, "Here, take this money and get us something to munch on for the rest of the ride home. I'll get gas and meet you in there."

Emma simply nodded and stood out of the car, before taking the money from his hand and making her way into the small building. It was like a giant food court shrunken into one small building the size of a garage. There were millions of options for food, all of which she was unsure of getting. She had never heard of the places before and she was not about to buy some foreign food without Killian's approval.

She sighed and stuck the money in her back pocket before turning around and stepping out of the sliding door. And just like on command, water fell from the sky. She stepped out from under the awning and looked for the car, before spotting it and beginning to walk the parking lot.

It began sprinkling. Little droplets of water drenched her hair, skin, and dress. The rain fell softly as if it knew of the hardships both behind and ahead. Each droplet alighted on her skin with just enough coolness to command her mind to the present, to pull her away from the pain of the past and the uncertainty of what was to come. The beads over her face, more numerous than even the freckles in her skin, joined to wash over her in a delicate cascade of trickles. She raised her eyes to the grey layer that touched every mountain top, there was more to come before the skies cleared, of that she could be sure.

The water droplets began growing larger and falling frequently. The light 'pitter patter' of rain turned into wet thuds as the icy water raced to meet the ground. The sprinkling turned into a torrential downpour. The coldness seeped through her gauzy gown and chilled her skin. There was an intense anxiety to the rain, as if between the tumbling cloud and the earth it is fearful of never reaching its destination. The sound alone was enough to make her pace the lot, arms folded across her chest that rose and fell more abruptly than it should. The sound of the rain, so soothing to some, was enough to drown out every other noise.

The rain had lost the ambient temperature of early fall, freezing and paling her skin on contact. The path through the parking lot was muddy water in motion, that filled deep puddles that hid the ruts of dryer weather. To feel it wasn't enjoyment, not fun like the gentle sunshine of springtime, yet it was a part of life and she wanted to feel it just the same. She wanted to experience each drop, together and apart, same and different. She wanted to see the droplets soaking her eyelashes before they joined their brethren on the ground like saltless tears. She needed to be in it, chaotic and wild, just like her mind and soul - like nature looked right into her and pulled the weather out.

She finally made it under the gas station awning and ran to the yellow bug. Killian turned around and bumped into her, who was breathing heavily and soaking wet. He was dry.

"Emma? What the-"

"It's raining, Killian." Emma said, breathy.

He raised an eyebrow, "What does that mean?"

"It means this." She said as she grabbed both sides of his face and pulled him close to her. Then, one of her hands left his cheek and grabbed his dry hand, molding them together, before she pulled him out from under the gas station awning and into the pouring rain. There they were, not caring that they were soaked through in the sudden downpour. As she looked into his blue eyes, her heart beat so much louder than the thunder high above; she was sure he could hear it. He leaned forward and she followed suit eager to finally have their lips meet for once in the rain. He sent her that playful smirk he always had on and raised an eyebrow, before pulling her entire body to his and yanking her hair with his wet fingers so that their lips finally touched. In seconds, the world stopped, all time, all pain, and all worries - the kiss of a lifetime. His fingers tangled in her drenched hair as she nibbled on his lips and took the opportunity to run her fingers through his wet hair too.

He rested his forehead on hers as their lips parted, "What was that for?"

"I love you." she whispered.

"And I you."

They separated and held hands, before Killian paid for the gas and they both made their way into the center to grab some food. He held the door open for her, making her nod her head graciously. With a smile, she pointed to the sub place in the back of the small building. He nodded, "I'll order our usuals, you can get some snacks for the ride."

Emma nodded and stared at Killian as he went into the line for subs. She didn't break her stare, even when she went to grab some snacks for the ride, and her little plan for later. In fact, she leaned on the rack of chips and continued to stare at Killian as he stepped up to order their subs. He seemed like he was having trouble ordering, considering they had never been there before and he didn't know anything about the place they were ordering from, which caused Emma to snicker a little. She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and crossed her arms, crushing some of the chips she was holding. She cocked her head to the side as she noticed Killian laughing.

Jeez, she would miss that laugh.

Everything about that laugh.

The way it could instantly make her burst out laughing, make her drown in tears, cause her stomach to hurt.

He handed the cashier the money and waited for their food, turning his head over his shoulder and meeting Emma's gaze. She let her smile soften and waved to him playfully, making him genuinely smile at her. Her rarely just smiled, because the only thing he claimed made him smile was her. So, when he wasn't home, he claimed he never smiled because she wasn't with him.

Did that mean that he'd never smile again once she passed?

Did that mean that by no means would he let himself smile ever again?

Possibly.

Emma let her eyes fall to the floor as she sighed and shook her head, hoping he wasn't watching her in the moment. But, when she looked up, she realized that he _was_ watching her, and he did see it. He stared at her with concerned eyes before their stare contest was interrupted by the cashier, who handed Killian their subs. He nodded to thank her, before heading towards Emma, who quickly raised her eyebrows and put on a smile.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, "Nothing, Killian. Did you get the right subs?"

He stopped her from moving under the awning and into the rain by grabbing her hand and staring at her, "Stop changing the subject."

"I'm fine, Killian."

"You're not, Emma," he said, "Talk to me."

She eyed him, unaware that water was building up in her eyes and getting ready to escape, and sighed, "Are you happy?"

He raised his eyebrow and nodded, "Of course I am. Why, you aren't?"

"No, no, I am. I just wanted to make sure you weren't regretting anything," she said quietly, "Or anyone."

"You aren't a regret, Emma," he said before kissing her forehead, "You're my happiness."

She smiled up at him, but internally she was breaking. Her walls were completely down and there was no way she could put them back up again. She was going to die and leave him alone, deprive him of his happiness.

And nothing, not even the food she was so hungry for, could appease her pain.

* * *

 **A/N: Emma's feeling down. What's next on their agenda? When they get home, it'll be 10pm already. What will they do in their last hour together? Will it be their last hour together?**

 **Kisses to your suspense.**


	5. Chapter 5

Five: A Night To Remember

"We just drove six hours back home and you're just telling me that now?" Killian laughed.

Emma shrugged as she stood from the car, "We still have two hours till midnight."

"Why are you counting down the hours?"

She froze, "No reason."

He raised an eyebrow at her suspiciously and followed her out of the car before grabbing his sleeping bag and blanket in one hand and his pillow and bag in the other. He ran behind her and met her where the sand started, "It's going to be a beautiful night."

Killian nodded and pushed her forward to step into the sand, "Look at the ocean."

"Amazing." Emma said as she laid a large blanket down on the sand beside the fire pit. Killian dug out the soccer ball from his backpack, threw it into Emma's hands and sent her a childish smile. She stood and kicked the ball over to him as she put her hair in a high ponytail.

The beach was quiet with no one on it, only the sounds of the ocean and the wind. She laughed as she moved to the other side of the fire pit, "Are you ready for this?"

"To play soccer with you?"

"And lose."

"And win." he corrected her.

She laughed, "You couldn't handle it."

"Perhaps you're the one who couldn't handle it." he smirked as he kicked the ball towards her, making her run a few feet and stop it. She played with the soccer ball with her foot for a few seconds before dribbling it towards him, eyeing him down with a competitive look. She kicked it hard opposite of where he stood and he ran to stop it from going past him. With a laugh, he jumped to the ground to stop it from rolling, grabbed it with his hands, and stood up to shake the sand off his clothes. He raised his eyebrow and placed it on the ground, before lightly kicking towards her and beginning to unbutton his shirt.

"What do you think you're doing?" she eyed him.

He smirked, "It's a little hot out here."

"Right." she stopped the ball and did some twist around her foot with it, then kicked it towards him and took him off guard; the ball went through his legs.

Killian shook his head, "You've got to be kidding me."

She sent him a look and flipped her ponytail behind her shoulders, letting a big smile form on her face. Then, he cocked his head to the side and let a smile form on his, a genuine one. His foot flipped over the ball and bounced it up in the air, before he kicked it high and towards her. It landed behind her and landed so hard that sand came up and hit her legs.

Emma turned around and her mouth dropped, making him laugh, "I said you couldn't handle it."

She pouted and kicked the ball back at him.

"Defend your goal, love." He said as he backed up preparing to shoot against her. She got into her ready stance and gave him an okay signal. He ran toward her with the ball and then kicked the ball to the side of her, not following after it. Instead, he tackled her and pinned her to the ground.

"This isn't football honey." Emma said, struggling to get up. He laughed loosening his grip and she managed to escape. She ran towards the ball and kicked it, making a goal between the two rocks and proving Killian she was better than him. He got up and brushed off his pants.

"You deserve punishment for that, Emma."

"You'll have to catch me first." She gave a slight smirk and then began to run. She ran past the small patch of trees that connected the beach to a park. She occasionally looked back to make sure he wasn't right behind her.

"I'm coming for you!" He yelled as he increased in speed. He was getting closer fast, and soon Emma was going to be captured by him. He ran and put his full speed in, before he finally caught up to her and grabbed her by the waist. Killian picked her up and then placed her in front of him, holding her tight. He gave her a smirk as she let out a long sigh, "I'm tired. Is your guitar still in the trunk?"

Killian nodded, "Of course, why?"

"Go get it and meet me by the fire."

"Alright." he said as he ran through the gate to the parking lot. She stayed for a few seconds before making her way through the small patch of trees and over to the fire. Emma took her hair out of the ponytail and sat down on the pillows beside the fire. She waited patiently for him to come back as she stared at the fire burning in front of her. Then, she leaned over to her bag and unzipped the side pocket to take out a note. She had finished writing it throughout the day. Emma placed it in the pocket of her leather jacket and quickly leaned up as she saw Killian coming back with his guitar around his neck.

He smiled at her, "Why did you want me to bring this?"

"I want to sing with you."

For one last time _._

"What song do you have in mind?" he asked as he sat down next to her. While she thought, he tuned the guitar to the correct way and adjusted his guitar strap to his liking. Killian turned to her and raised an eyebrow, "Well?"

She stayed silent and then looked up into his blue eyes, letting a soft smile form, "How about 'Need You Now'?"

"That's a sad one," Killian said as he began to find the starting notes, "But as you wish."

He began to play as she started to sing,

 _Picture perfect memories, Scattered all around the floor,_

 _Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more._

Then he pitched in,

 _And I wonder if I ever cross your mind._

She leaned on his shoulder,

 _For me it happens all the time._

He leaned his head on hers and continued to sing with her in perfect harmony,

 _It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now_

She sat up and turned towards him, noticing how happy he was in that very moment, and then realizing how broken he would be in the next 45 minutes.

He took over for a verse,

 _Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweepin' in the way you did before_

She joined in,

 _And I wonder if I ever cross your mind_

And he continued,

 _For me it happens all the time_

Then, there was beautiful harmony once more, a harmony so amazing that it could jerk a tear from either of their eyes,

 _It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now_

Killian looked up at her, green met blue, as he sang,

 _Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all_

And she sang back to him,

 _Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all_

 _It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now_

And he sang back to her,

 _And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now_

And they sang together, producing perfect sound, a sound that anyone could fall asleep to, and sound worth five thousand awards, a sound of pure love,

 _And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now  
I just need you now_

Emma let her head fall on Killian's shoulder as she ended the song,

 _Oh baby I need you now_

He turned to her and lifted her chin so their gazes met, "Emma, I need you, and I always will need you."

Inside, she was slowly dying, at the fact that she wanted to say the same thing but couldn't, and that she only had a half hour until 11:09pm. She let a tear escape from her eye, something that made him aware of her sadness. He pulled her chin a little so that they could each feel the ghost of the other's lips on theirs.

"I need you now, Emma." Killian spoke against her lips.

"Take me then." she whispered.

Killian's eyes instantly filled with desire as he slowly took off his guitar and placed it down beside the pillows, before taking her hand in his and standing up, bringing her to sit down with him on the blanket.

* * *

 **A/N: Two more chapters, everyone! It's getting shaky.**

 **Kisses.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Mature chapter...**

* * *

Six: One Last Time

He turned to her and lifted her chin so their gazes met, "Emma, I need you, and I always will need you."

Inside, she was slowly dying, at the fact that she wanted to say the same thing but couldn't, and that she only had a half hour until 11:09pm. She let a tear escape from her eye, something that made him aware of her sadness. He pulled her chin a little so that they could each feel the ghost of the other's lips on theirs.

"I need you now, Emma." Killian spoke against her lips.

"Take me then." she whispered.

Killian's eyes instantly filled with desire as he slowly took off his guitar and placed it down beside the pillows, before taking her hand in his and standing up, bringing her to sit down with him on the blanket. He moved his hand down her body as she moved her leg, wrapping it around his body. He slowly yanked at the hem of her shirt, twisting the bottom with his thumb and third finger, then running his finger along her breastbone. When her shirt finally rode up, he slid it off and studied her. His hands caressed her cheeks and pulled her into a demanding and much-needed kiss that they both had been yearning for. He sucked them with passion and bit them occasionally to keep things interesting. Each of them, demanding and needy as ever, started to grind against the other's body. Emma soon had Killian's shirt in her hand before she threw it over the fire pit and then found her way to his belt, which was off in a matter of seconds. He began to suck her neck in that same spot she always loved - the soft spot that made her go wild. When his lips hit the tender skin, her eyes grew wide and she moaned into his ear. In the next seconds, her hands were in his pants, her hair a mess of it's own, her back arched, and her entire body aching for him to complete her need. When he realized her deep desire, he stood and kicked his pants off along with his boxers and let her take over. She began to rub him in all sorts of possible ways before her lips found the tip of his tool and began to work - oh, almighty. He groaned before pulling her up to him and taking claim of her lips again. She studied his chiseled abs, running her hands across his strong chest, along the thin patches of chest hairs he had. She smiled before they continued to kiss. He unclasped her bra letting it fall the ground. She began to kiss his neck, lowering down to his stomach. She giggled as he grabbed her hand, holding it above her head, kissing her neck, her collarbone, her ear, her breasts, her stomach, down to her pubic bone.

"Just do it-"

"Love," he managed to get out, "Are you sure?"

"One hundred percent," she said, "I love you."

At her last words, he slid into her, allowing a loud moan out of her, and then started to thrust slowly and steadily. She demanded a faster speed, to which he much obliged to. Emma's hands found his back as she sunk her fingernails into his skin; she was almost there and he knew that.

"Killian-"

"I know."

In a matter of seconds, he collapsed on top of her, their breaths aligning in their fast speeds. He pushed off the ground so her could lay beside her, his arm wrapping around her body and pulling her towards him. She kissed his shoulder and laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. The next few minutes consisted of them listening to each other breathe. When they finally clasped each other in a warm, slow and luxurious hug, they felt all oppositions to their love had melted. Emma turned on her side, so that her back was on his front and she was staring at the ocean. His chest rising and falling against her back, their breaths in unison, and the warm blood that they could feel in each other's' embrace.

Killian connected their hands as she kissed his knuckles. He pushed some of her hair out of the way and kissed her temple, "Emma."

She turned her head over her shoulder, "Yeah?"

"I love you," he whispered in her ear, "And I will until my dying day."

"And I you, Killian Jones." she smiled.

The clock hit eleven. Emma sighed and sat up from her position, before standing and collecting her clothes.

He leaned on his elbow and stared at her, "You cold or something?"

"A little," she shrugged, "You should probably get dressed. You can't get sick and miss work."

That wasn't the reason she was getting dressed.

She was getting dressed because she knew in ten minutes, she'd collapse onto the sand and he'd have to call 911, which would be better if he was clothed.

When her clothes were all back on, she grabbed her leather jacket and patted the pocket with the note on it. She checked her watch, it said 11:07pm.

Emma walked over to the blanket and grabbed Killian's hand, pulling him up to stand with her, and then brought him over to the water.

She suddenly felt a giant lump in her throat and her stomach knotted.

This was it.

Her last minutes with her husband.

Her true love.

Her soulmate.

Killian.

She intertwined their hands and leaned her head on his shoulder, as they both stepped into the ocean, staring at the moon in silence.

The clock struck 11:08pm.

She turned to him and kissed him one last time.

Then, she stepped out of the water and took him with her, staring with wet eyes into his blue orbs of pure happiness.

Suddenly she felt alone, all alone. And there was no way to fix it. She felt as if she was being submerged into a sea of doubt, worry, and despair. She knew this was it.

This was the end.

In the last ten seconds of 11:08pm, she let go of his hand and said a faint, "I will always love you, Killian Jones."

Before he could answer, the clock struck 11:09pm, and Emma fell to the ground.

Her eyes shut, her body limp, her hair scattered in the sand, and her lips still.

He sunk to the ground beside her and shook her body, "Emma?"

She didn't move.

"Emma!" he shook her again and grabbed her hand.

Nothing.

"Oh my god," he stood as tears escaped from his eyes, before sniffling and quickly digging his cellphone out of his pocket. Killian dialed 911 and fell down beside Emma, trying to feel for a heartbeat or any sign that she was still alive.

But there was nothing, "Hello? I need an ambulance to Orchard Beach in Bronx, NY. Hurry, please."

 **What should we prepare for, sir?**

"Emma - erm - my wife just collapsed and she wasn't acting weird or anything, but she isn't breathing and i can feel a heartbeat. Please, just hurry and come save her, please."

 **Sir, what's your name?**

"Killian, Killian Jones."

 **We'll be there soon, Killian. Stay with her.**

Killian hung up his phone and threw it onto the blanket across the fire, before he wrapped his arms around Emma's limp body and kissed her forehead as his soft cries escaped, "It's okay, love, it'll all be okay."

He tried hard to stop crying, but nothing was helping. The image of Emma in his arms, not breathing and without her heart beating.

It was too much.

A few minutes later, the ambulance arrived and took Emma from Killian's arms. He fought to hold her again, but an EMT held him back as the others put Emma in the back of the ambulance car. He wiped his tears and ran into the back with her, sitting on the ground of the car beside her and holding her hand tightly, hoping that by some chance, she'd come back.

He shut his eyes and begged to whoever was above for help, and opened them, hoping she'd be staring up at him and that it had all been just a little scare.

But when he opened his eyes, she wasn't staring up at him.

And it all wasn't some little scare.

It was real.

And Emma might be dead.

* * *

 **A/N: I HAVE TEARS WRITING THIS FOLKS, DO NOT HATE ME.**

 **Next chapter will be up soon. Stick with me here, I did not promise any happiness. This is a sad prompt, folks!**

 **Kisses until next chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

Seven: I Hope You're Somewhere Better

He shut his eyes and begged to whoever was above for help, and opened them, hoping she'd be staring up at him and that it had all been just a little scare.

But when he opened his eyes, she wasn't staring up at him.

And it all wasn't some little scare.

It was real.

And Emma might be dead.

The ambulance pulled into the emergency room parking lot, and soon Emma was pulled out of the back and rushed into the hospital. Killiam hopped out from the back of the ambulance and rushed after the EMTs and Emma, before they were all met by a doctor.

"What happened?" Doctor Whale said as he looked through the EMT's clipboard.

The EMT replied, "Husband was at beach with her, Orchard Beach in the Bronx, and they were having a good time, it was a normal night. She fell to the ground and wasn't breathing, heart wasn't beating."

"And how long has it been since you picked her up?"

"About ten minutes," the EMT said, "She's still unconscious."

Doctor Whale nodded and pointed to the elevator, "Get her stabilized, or at least try to. I'll be right there. Where's the husband?"

Killian raised his hand; his eyes were puffy and red, his hair a mess, and his face full of fear. He rubbed his mouth as a shot of despair filled him, causing him to fall to the floor. He sat on the ground and began breaking apart, "I tried holding the tears in, but I can't help but think she isn't coming back."

Something inside of him told him that it was the end. The very end.

"What's her name and age?" Doctor Whale asked as he helped Killian up.

"Emma Jones, she's _only_ 34."

The doctor patted his back and invited him to sit, before he ran down the hallway and into the room where the EMTs wheeled Emma to earlier. Killian pulled his knees up and hugged them in his chair, his head sinking between them and his heart sinking in his chest.

Never in his life had he felt this broken. Not when his grandmother passed away, not when he failed the eighth grade, not when he didn't get accepted into college.

This was a feeling of despair, of sadness, of anger, of hopelessness.

She was his everything; losing her would mean not being able to go on. His life was basically over.

He sat still for fifteen minutes, thinking of the worst possibilities. She was so young, they were just married. She didn't deserve to die. Emma had a beautiful soul - she cared about everyone in her life and cared about them more than she did for herself. She didn't do anything to deserve to die, especially at such a young age.

Then again, bad things always happen to good people.

Killian stood up and started to pace the lobby, holding back the several tears that were aching to rip away from his eyes. He rubbed his palms to calm his nerves, but nothing seemed to work.

What were they doing in there? Why was it taking so long? Every possible situation ran through his mind, making him even more anxious to get into that room and to see Emma.

A nurse came out of Emma's room, "Mr. Jones?"

"That's me, yes."

"You can go in now."

At her words, Killian ran past her and into Emma's room. She was hooked up to many machines, half of which he didn't know what they were or never heard if. Grief overtook him as he ran to her, grabbing her hand and slightly shaking it, hoping that she'd wake up. But she didn't.

Doctor Whale came into the room behind him, "She's not doing too good."

"What do you mean? Is she dead?"

The doctor came and sat down beside Killian, writing something down on his clipboard, "Well, no, but she is in a very delicate state now."

"What do you mean 'delicate state'? Is she dead or not?"

"Her heart did stop, so it is safe to assume she was dead those minutes you were waiting at the beach," Doctor Whale said, "But, we got her heart working again, however, it's not doing too good."

"She's going to die isn't she? This is all my fault," he said, "I should have seen the signs."

Doctor Whale raised an eyebrow, "Signs?"

Killian nodded and rubbed his eyes, "All day she was telling me she loved me and asking if I was happy or if I regretted anything. It's like she knew she was going to die."

"No one knows when they're going to die."

"You'd be surprised with everything Emma knows," then he coughed, "Knew."

"Mr. Jones, I have to ask you some questions," Doctor Whale said, "But it's best if you answer them calmly. Try to breathe a bit and relax."

Killian sat down in his seat and didn't let go of Emma's hand, "Sure."

"Does Emma get headaches or migraines frequently?"

"How frequently do you mean?"

"Two or three times a week." He said.

Killian nodded and bit his lip, "I don't know, no, yes, I guess so, is that bad?"

Doctor Whale didn't answer; he just scribbled on his clipboard some more. Then, he looked up again and said, "Are you two currently sexually active?"

Killian almost choked on air, "Well, yes, but she's on birth control, so-"

"Just what I suspected." Doctor Whale scribbled some more and stood up.

Killian stood with him and followed him to the door of the room, pulling on his shoulder, "What's that supposed mean?"

"It was a stroke, Killian." Doctor Whale said, "People who have migraines frequently - ones with aura, which I'm assuming she's had - and who are on birth control are more prone to having a stroke. This gives her a higher risk for getting a blood-clot, which causes a stroke."

"Is she going to be alright?" Killian asked.

Doctor Whale stepped out of the hospital room, "Only time will tell."

As he left, Killian felt a part of him break off and flutter into nonexistence. A stroke. He hadn't known about them, except for his little knowledge because of his mother having one. All he knew was that you didn't _have_ to die from a stroke, but it was possible. Something so simple took her just like that. It was in a matter of seconds. Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe it had been building up for so long and it was waiting for the perfect moment to hit - the moment where the couple was their happiest. Killian had just gotten a promotion, they were discussing coming off the pill so they could expand their family, and Emma has just reconnected with her parents. It was a perfect day; The stroke had stayed quietly under the radar all that time and hit right when it hurt the most.

Killian leaned on his elbow and let his eyes shr for a few seconds, not aware that he was going to fall asleep for twenty minutes.

"Mr. Jones? Wake up."

He'd never see her again, would he?

"Sir?"

The love of his life was gone.

For good.

He was shaken awake by Doctor Whale, who was sweating a bit and seemed a little overwhelmed. Killian cocked his head to the side and opened his eyes to see a few nurses surrounding Emma. He stood and was immediately held back by Doctor Whale, "She's gone, Mr. Jones."

"No, Emma!" He struggled to push past the doctor and through the group of nurses. Emma was unplugged from all of the machines, and she was just lying there, a lifeless body - a lifeless body that meant more than the world to him, that created so many memories with him, that was supposed to be his future.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Jones." One of the nurses said.

"There's nothing more you could've done?" Killian said as he turned back to Doctor Whale and grabbed his lab coat. Killian eyes filled with water as he clenched the doctor's collar tighter.

"We've done all we can."

He pushed the doctor away from him and ran back towards Emma, who was lying still on the hospital bed. As much as it pained him to do so, he grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles - the last time he would ever get the chance to.

"There has to be something else you can do." Killian begged.

The doctor placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezed it gently, and then whispered, "I'm sorry Mr. Jones."

Killiam squeezed Emma's hand as he eyed her jacket pocket, and saw a piece of paper sticking out of it. He reluctantly pulled it out and saw the handwriting - it was Emma's.

He slowly opened it with one hand, not letting go of hers, and it read:

 _My Dearest Killian,_

 _I know you hate goodbyes, so I'm glad you're not with me as I write this letter because this is my goodbye letter, just in case I don't make it. I have to tell you that when you came back to the city after college, I didn't want to get close to you, I didn't want to get attached because it would be more painful for me to ever say goodbye if I had to. But I failed, it was so hard not to see you. We watched each other grow from the age of seven, we saw the days pass together, you never left my side. Even when we went separate ways to college, you never stopped writing me and we never ended our friendship. When you came back, I wanted you to be mine forever. I admit we have had our problems and our fights but they only ever last about two minutes. The only ever argument we have ever had was when you stayed at my house for a week and you didn't cook me breakfast and I got upset; I mean it doesn't kill someone to chuck some bacon in the oven does it? But thank you for all the times when I have been upset, like when my Gram died and your response was to bring two tubs of ice cream and hot chocolate and you stayed with me the whole time I was upset, which always made me feel better._

 _You know there are so many memories that can't even fit into a book, so many laughs, cries, smiles that are all engraved into my heart; they will last forever. You have always found the best in me and simply for that I feel blessed, not blessed for having you, but blessed for knowing you were always by my side._

 _You know I've come to terms with the fact that I will never see you again. I know it will be incredibly more painful for you than it will be for me, but when I am gone and not coming back, take a deep breath and start a new day smiling knowing I am watching over you. I know things will get extremely painful and strange at first, but promise me one thing? That you, Mr. Jones, will never change who you are. You are simply the most remarkable, handsome person I know._

 _Killian, I don't want you to go through life feeling like nothing, because to me, you're everything. Don't let people bring you down, because you're honestly amazing for everything you do. Don't let anyone tell you different. I just want you to know that I'm not giving up on life. I do passionately want to survive to see you again; you're the reason I'm not giving up._

 _You make me feel alive. You know I love you so much as a best friend, a husband, and even more. Go and enjoy your life Killian, fall in love again, have a family, and be married. Don't stop on my account; be happy. I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved so far, and for everything you will achieve in the future._

 _I hope I have changed your life as much as you have changed mine. I will continue loving you until you join me after you pass in seventy years. Don't forget me._

 _Just remember I will be watching over you every step of the way, even though you're handsome, independent, and strong enough to go through life without me there._

 _I'm going now; I love you and will always remember you. Go and make something amazing with your life. If you ever hit a tough stage in your life, just bring a tub of ice cream and come sit by my grave and cry your little heart out; I will always be listening._

 _Goodbye my husband, my soulmate, my best friend. Thank you for the most amazing years I could ever ask for._

 _With all my love and hopes for your future,_

 _Emma_

Killian's face flooded with tears and his head fell down onto her hand and he cried silently.

He cried into the hands of his dead wife.

He cried into the hands of his soulmate.

He cried into the hands of Emma, his one and only.

And now she was gone for good.

And he would never be able to hold the hands he now cried in ever again.

Emma was gone.

* * *

 **A/N: Don't leave me yet. There's still an epilogue, which is a year later.**

 **Kisses.**


	8. Epilogue

Epilogue: A Year

 _A YEAR LATER_

Killian placed the bouquet of yellow roses on the passenger seat before he started the car and drove to the cemetery.

It had been one year since Emma died.

One year since his life had changed forever.

He parked and slowly walked over to her gravestone, before checking his watch, which stated 11:09pm.

"Hey, love." He whispered as he sat on the grass beside her stone and placed the bouquet of flowers on it, "These are for you."

There was a gust of wind and the sun was suddenly hidden behind a cloud.

He sighed, "I know it's been awhile, a year actually. I know that I've been selfish, not coming here to visit frequently or talk to you. I haven't even had the guts to go to the flower shop and buy flowers for you. You don't deserve me, or deserve to have me be selfish; I'm sorry for that. After all this time, I finally came up with some things to say to you, and I hope you're listening to me like you promised in your letter."

There was another gust of wind.

He cleared his throat, "I still love you, and I always will. When I married you, I vowed to love you until death did us part, but I am breaking that vow. Just because you have passed, that doesn't mean I have to stop loving you. That's not possible. I know you told me in your letter that you wanted me to move on with my life, get married again and have a family, but couldn't do that. I _can't_ do that. The truth is that the only person I want to be married to and have a family with is you. And I know you're probably shaking your head wherever you are, thinking that I'm a fool for not moving on, but it's the truth. If it makes you feel any better, I adopted a dog; his name is Buckley after your great uncle. He likes the beach like you did, and likes steak like you did."

Killian sniffled as he brushed some leaves off her area, "I have been promoted to CEO of the company, and the house is finally clean. Your car is still running nicely, and your leather jacket is still intact."

The sun popped out from the cloud and the wind blew again.

Killian rubbed his eyes to stop the tears from coming out of his eyes, "I'm sorry, Emma. I don't know what to say anymore. To be honest with you, this year has been full of a few accomplishments, but they were accompanied with many downs. I started drinking and actually had a problem with my liver, but its okay now; I'm three months sober. My brother moved away to Paris with his wife, so it's just me and Buckley in the city. I feel so empty and worthless without you, Emma. I know that somehow I'm supposed to move on, that sometime it's supposed to be better, but I can't help but thinking that that time won't ever come for me. You were my everything, and you still are. I don't know how I am supposed to go on without you. Life sucks without you. I know wherever you are right now, you either laughing at me or mad because I haven't moved on. I think I'm just going to finish my last 69 years waiting to die so I can be with you. I don't know how to go on."

He sat in silence for a few minutes before lying down on his side and staring up at Emma's stone. Then, he let his eyes shut and he fell asleep.

" _Killian?" Emma turned around and saw Killian standing behind her. She ran to him and jumped into his arms, laughing and kissing him uncontrollably._

" _Emma? You're back?"_

 _She shook her head and let tears escape from her eyes, "No, I wish. This is a dream; you're dreaming about me."_

" _No, this has to be real," Killian said as he caressed her cheeks, "You feel real."_

" _All dreams do." Emma whispered before she snuck another kiss. Her face was wet with tears, but yet she was so happy to see him._

 _His smiled genuinely, something he hadn't done in over a year._

 _Something he hadn't done since that night at the beach._

" _I never got to say goodbye," he sniffed, "I wasted all my time saying I love you, but I never said it enough."_

" _Don't be like that, Killian," she said, "I know you loved me, and I know how hard it was for you to say goodbye."_

 _He rested his forehead on hers, "I love you so much, Emma. And now you will never know."_

" _You have to wake up, Killian. Go be happy." she begged him._

 _He shook his head, "I can't be happy without you."_

" _You can do anything," she whispered against his lips._

" _I need you, Emma, I need you now." he said, "I miss hugging you and kissing you, singing with you on the beach, going on sporadic trips and getting tattoos. I miss eating tubs of ice cream when we were upset and going on trips to the park. I miss you so much."_

" _I miss you too, Killian," she let another tear fall from her eyes and wiped it away, "But we will see eachother soon enough. Live your life. Wake up."_

 _He shook his head as tears fell down his cheek, "Don't make me, please Emma. I need to stay with you."_

" _Wake up," she said, "I love you."_

" _I love you more." he said, pulling her into one last kiss._

" _I love you most." she said as he started to wake up._

He finally got to say goodbye.

And he told her he loved her.

And that was enough for now.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry, no happy ending, but still not a terrible ending. Stay tuned for a happier and angsty new CS fanfic, "Loving Abroad", which is being uploaded tomorrow.**

 **Kisses to all of you and tissues for your tears.**


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